The day I became a mommy

5 Oct

I know there are women out there that became a mom the day they found out they were pregnant, others the day they gave birth and there are even some that have felt like mothers their whole lives. I am none of those.

To be honest, I spent most of the time after my daughter was born terrified of her. I mean, here was this little life form that was completely dependent on me and I had no idea what to do. The first diaper I changed ever was her first diaper change. The first time I ever fed a baby a bottle was immediately after she was born and the nurse placed her in my arms. Shit, the first time I ever held a baby was the first time my daughter was placed in my arms.

So, that mommy feeling must have crept in at some point soon after, right?

Nope.

When my daughter was three months old, we found out that I was pregnant again. Six month later we welcomed our son, Daniel Jr. into the world. So, having two kids must have made me have that mommy feeling for sure.

Uh-uh.

For me, feeling like a mommy didn’t start until earlier this year. My son had started saying a few words when he was about 18 months (mama, dada, wawa, etc…) but, for some reason, he regressed quickly and went back to pointing and, I wouldn’t call it grunting but, it was definitely a “mmm” sound. I was getting worried and found an organization called “Babies Can’t Wait” that helps children under the age of three with different kinds of developmental setbacks. I sent in all the necessary paperwork and hoped I would hear from them soon. In December of 2010, they finally got around to us and sent out two very nice ladies to come fill out some additional paperwork and meet my son. Renee sat with me as we filled out the paperwork while Karen (the speech therapist) sat with my son and played with him. All Karen really did that day was blow some bubbles (while saying “bubbles”) and when they would pop, she would say “pop!” Nothing special… or so I thought. She wouldn’t blow more right away. She’d say bubbles a few times so he could see how her mouth was moving and hen she’d blow the bubbles, taking a little longer every time to finally do it.

It still gives me the chills to think about it…. sitting there with this lady he had just met he got frustrated with having to wait for the bubbles so, he looked at her and said “bubbles!!!” Such a simple word and such an exhilarating moment. My baby spoke. And I cried. I finally felt like a mommy.

After the ladies left things just kept getting better. He went back to saying the words he had saying before and, as we taught him some words in sign language (at Ms. Karen’s suggestion), he began to open up even more. I don’t know what exactly went on that day; I mean, I didn’t see anyone sprinkle magic dust over his head but that is ow dramatic the change was. Now, less than a year later, his progression is amazing. Sure, there are plenty of times where his words are kinda mumble-y and he pronounces go as “dough” and jump as “gump” but I’ll take it because he also says “I love you daddy” and “You da best mommy ever!”

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