Archive | October, 2011

Things are about to get crazy.

31 Oct

Since having children, I have basically been at home taking care of them. Last year, I went back to school; I’ve been taking courses online through Argosy University to earn a Masters of Health Service Management. I’ve gone back to work here and there but always had to leave; one time my son got sick and I needed to be back at home, another time the distance I was travelling made the amount of money I was making not worth the drive or spending time away from my family.

Two weeks ago, Daniel and I decided it was time for me to go back to work, again. I started posting my resume hard core (again) and got in touch with a couple of staffing agencies. Last week was kind of crazy; schoolwork + 2 kids + driving all over creation for various interviews makes for a hectic week. But, I got (and accepted) a job offer at a mortgage company in Atlanta and will be starting there tomorrow. Not to mention that I’m going to be participating in NaNoWriMo this year. The basic goal of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words of original content in a month. No editing, no second-guessing, just writewritewrite. While I don’t consider myself a writer, I would venture to say that I am creative and I have had this idea swimming around in my head and I figured that NaNoWriMo would be the best way to get all the ideas out.

I’m forcing myself to not tell the story (verbally) to anyone. If I want people to know how the story turns out, I have to get it down on paper. 50,000 words in 30 days works out to 1,667 words a day. I’ve had a tough time doing some assignments for school that had a 2,000 word count but, I think that may have been because it just wasn’t something that interested me like this is.

So yeah, it’s about to get crazy around here… work, school, 2 kids and I’m participating in NaNoWriMo AND I need to post more here.

Welp, that’s it for now.. wish me luck!!

I’m tired of the cattiness.

25 Oct

I’ve never been a “catty” girl. I never saw the point of taking another woman down a peg, for any reason. But lately, well, I’m seeing a lot of cattiness and it’s making me very punchy.

Recently I linked to another blog that discussed something along these lines but, it dealt more with moms being hyper-critical about each others’ choices; assuming that their choice is the best choice in all situations and criticizing anyone that does not follow their same path.

I think that topic needs to go a bit broader. I have seen so many women just railing on other women for no other reason than to be catty. And I don’t understand it. Is it coming from a place of not feeling good about yourself and having to see the negative in others? Is it coming from a place of jealousy? Where the fuck does it come from?

Maybe it’s just me but, I don’t see guys going at each other the way that we women do. I’m sure that we all know a number of women that cannot simply look at a picture of a beautiful woman and admit that the woman in the picture is beautiful. It’s always something:
*She’s probably an idiot.
*Her earlobes are uneven.
*She’s got cankles.
*She’s a slut.
*Her teeth are weird.
*What is she wearing?
*She needs to get her roots done.

It makes me want to pull my hair out. I can understand there being a select few that you find it hard to compliment for whatever reason (don’t ever let it be said that I feel like everyone should love one another) but, dammit man, everyone?? You have something negative to say about everyone?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m asking too much. I just know how I feel and when I see a woman that is so quick to be so catty about another woman, it doesn’t make me think negatively about the woman being talked about… It makes me think negatively about the woman doing the talking. Maybe that’s just me but, chances are, it’s not.

So, here’s the bit of advice that I’m going to send out subliminally to my fellow women… If you’re about to say something mean or catty, swallow it down and think of something nice to say instead. If you can’t think of something nice to say..

Shut the fuck up.

Moms need to show a little more love to one another….

20 Oct

Moms need to show a little more love to one another…..

 

Please read the above. I could not agree more that moms need to do more building each other up and stop tearing each other down. Every person (and every child) is different and there is no reason to degrade a mother for doing everything she can for her children. Just because another woman made a different decision for her children than you made for yours does not make either of your decisions wrong… it makes them different.

Disappointment is just a part of it.

15 Oct

So, I got a big kick in the nuts yesterday. The money that we were expecting isn’t coming. So, that means no wedding for us. Sure, we can go and get a marriage license and be married, but I’m not going to get my wedding. Our first pick for a wedding date came and went a month ago. Initially we were getting married on September 16th but had to postpone to March 31st because of finances. Now, reality has hit.

We cannot afford a wedding.

And it sucks.

I was looking forward to having that special day that was happy and sparkly and special. And it’s not going to happen.

I know I should look on the brighter side. I know that I have a man that loves me and two amazingly perfect and healthy children and that we CAN get married when there are so many people that cannot get married just because they are a same sex couple.

I know that there are so many things to be thankful for but, right now, I’m gonna wallow a bit.

My mom thinks we should push the date back one more time and maybe it’ll work out this time. I don’t want to go through this again. Planning a wedding is supposed to be something exciting and fun… yes, it can be stressful but it’s supposed to be fun too. This hasn’t been any fun so far and I don’t want to do it anymore. We’ll go and get our piece of paper and we’ll be married and that’ll be it.

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

14 Oct

I’m no writer… I’ve already made that abundantly clear. I am friends with writers and the ideas that come from their minds blow me away. One of my friends has actually written one book (fiction) and a book of her blogs that you can find . The novel she wrote last year during NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo stand for National Novel Writing Month and the goal is to write 50,000 words of new material during the month of November. Last year I was amazed at how excited and dedicated my friend, Nina, was to get the ideas out of her head and on paper. During a visit to her house, she showed me the various outlines and print-outs and notes that she had made for the purpose of getting this novel written. And she did it. She “won” NaNoWriMo (you win when you complete the 50K) goal. She spent the next few months editing and re-editing until she was blue in the face and the end result is amazing.

As this November approaches I think, should I? I’ve said numerous times that I don’t consider myself a “writer” but, I do have ideas in my head that seem like good ideas to me. But 50,000 words? It seems kind of daunting. That’s only a little more than 1,500 words a day which doesn’t seem too bad but, I don’t know if I could manage it for a whole month.

I think I’m going to do it, mainly to see if I can. It is stressed that you don’t edit at all. The goal is to get the words down and worry about any kind of editing later. If I do decide to do it, y’all need to cheer me on, ok?

The day I became a mommy

5 Oct

I know there are women out there that became a mom the day they found out they were pregnant, others the day they gave birth and there are even some that have felt like mothers their whole lives. I am none of those.

To be honest, I spent most of the time after my daughter was born terrified of her. I mean, here was this little life form that was completely dependent on me and I had no idea what to do. The first diaper I changed ever was her first diaper change. The first time I ever fed a baby a bottle was immediately after she was born and the nurse placed her in my arms. Shit, the first time I ever held a baby was the first time my daughter was placed in my arms.

So, that mommy feeling must have crept in at some point soon after, right?

Nope.

When my daughter was three months old, we found out that I was pregnant again. Six month later we welcomed our son, Daniel Jr. into the world. So, having two kids must have made me have that mommy feeling for sure.

Uh-uh.

For me, feeling like a mommy didn’t start until earlier this year. My son had started saying a few words when he was about 18 months (mama, dada, wawa, etc…) but, for some reason, he regressed quickly and went back to pointing and, I wouldn’t call it grunting but, it was definitely a “mmm” sound. I was getting worried and found an organization called “Babies Can’t Wait” that helps children under the age of three with different kinds of developmental setbacks. I sent in all the necessary paperwork and hoped I would hear from them soon. In December of 2010, they finally got around to us and sent out two very nice ladies to come fill out some additional paperwork and meet my son. Renee sat with me as we filled out the paperwork while Karen (the speech therapist) sat with my son and played with him. All Karen really did that day was blow some bubbles (while saying “bubbles”) and when they would pop, she would say “pop!” Nothing special… or so I thought. She wouldn’t blow more right away. She’d say bubbles a few times so he could see how her mouth was moving and hen she’d blow the bubbles, taking a little longer every time to finally do it.

It still gives me the chills to think about it…. sitting there with this lady he had just met he got frustrated with having to wait for the bubbles so, he looked at her and said “bubbles!!!” Such a simple word and such an exhilarating moment. My baby spoke. And I cried. I finally felt like a mommy.

After the ladies left things just kept getting better. He went back to saying the words he had saying before and, as we taught him some words in sign language (at Ms. Karen’s suggestion), he began to open up even more. I don’t know what exactly went on that day; I mean, I didn’t see anyone sprinkle magic dust over his head but that is ow dramatic the change was. Now, less than a year later, his progression is amazing. Sure, there are plenty of times where his words are kinda mumble-y and he pronounces go as “dough” and jump as “gump” but I’ll take it because he also says “I love you daddy” and “You da best mommy ever!”