Planning life is hard

13 Sep

Up until now, I’ve never really approached life with a plan in my hand. I just kinda lived what was thrown at me. Case in point being my meeting Daniel and becoming a back-to-back mommy. Now, the kids are getting to school age and I am approaching a crossroads in my life.

Recently I reconnected with Jennifer; my mom used to babysit her when we were all kids. She’s married with kids of her own and one day my mother and I went to spend the day with her. She met my kids and I met hers and we all just sat around, talked, drank some beers and caught up with each other. She was telling me about how she is a radiologic technician and she only works two days a week but gets paid a great salary. She told me about where she studied (it’s only a two-year program) and about how much she loves what she does. Georgia currently has what’s called the Workforce Investment Act, or WIA, which will basically pay for you to get the training you need for “in demand” jobs, one of which is radiologic technicians. Basically, I could get the training I need, at no cost to me, and be ready to start down a very promising career path two years after starting the program.

But here’s the rub. I never really planned on becoming a mom. Sure, I knew that, eventually, I would but I never really had a timeline set out where I planned on having kids by a certain time in my life.

And, now that I have the children that I do… I want more.

And this is where it gets kind of hard for me. Part of me wants to have more kids soon so that all of my children are fairly close in age and can have some sort of something in common. But, part of me really wants to pursue this promising career path.

It’s the typical discussion that two girlfriends have. One has had the career and wants the family and the love. The other has the family and the love but wants the career.

My wifey tells me to do what I really want to do. Daniel tells me the same thing. The problem is, I really want BOTH.

You’re going to think I’m crazy. I have lost my Tarot deck and I have been having my wifey draw a card for me just to see what “the universe” is trying to tell me. I kid you not, 9 times out of 10, she pulls the Temperance card. Temperance, balance, whatever you want to call it. I’m going to have to make this decision on my own.

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